I’m pretty sure I am not the only coach who has used the metaphor of a butterfly with a client. A Google search of “butterfly metaphor” resulted in 2.6 Million results, suggesting the idea isn’t novel. A good coach is positive, enthusiastic, supportive, trusting, focused, goal-oriented, knowledgeable, observant, respectful, patient, and a clear communicator. As communicators, the coach also needs to convey information in a way the individual can digest and comprehend. Co-Active Training Institute identifies metaphor as one of the eighteen key coaching skills. Leaders, too, should consider their audience as they communicate and alter their approach, when possible, to the individual. A Leader’s communication toolbox should include the use of metaphor.
Merriam-Webster defines metaphor as “a figure of speech in which a word or phrase literally denoting one kind of object or idea is used in place of another to suggest a likeness or analogy between them.” People have been using metaphors for years, dating back to the 15th Century. The use of metaphor in communication is an effective way to help break through a mental block in the receiver by engaging with them through a word picture. The use of metaphor can help the intended receiver associate imagery and possibly story to the conversation.
I believe the use of metaphor was the pivotal moment in helping my coaching client realize her desired future state when it came to professional job satisfaction. Let me introduce you to Sara, my butterfly (name has been changed to maintain confidentiality, although her testimonial is hers, unaltered).
Sara wanted to make a job change from clerical to a management position. She had demonstrated her capability and resourcefulness, while identifying the direction she was interested in pursuing. Our coaching relationship began here. Sara recognized she would struggle with the identity of her current role and wasn’t confident that her formal education would match up with the required experience of several jobs, therefore reducing her chances of being selected. Sara had choices in this next step as she successfully applied to and was offered new positions. As her coach I wanted to help her see the possibilities and encourage her to take control with confidence in her career. I chose to use a butterfly metaphor with her, and here is what “my butterfly” had to say about this analogy:
“I enjoy being challenged and am motivated by growth. Unfortunately, it is not easy for me to let go of the past and trust in the future. My coach referred to me as a “butterfly” and I was told to spread my colorful wings. At first, I was unsure what this meant, until my coach further elaborated on what she recognized as my “colorful” talents. She encouraged me to have the strength and courage… I know my capabilities and at the same time understand that I need that extra “wind” to blow beneath my wings to help me fly…” – Sara
For leaders, appropriately tailored metaphors can shift the conversation from a theoretical concept into a direct application with meaning and context. Let me explain. I can say (theory), or I can offer a metaphor to support the concept.
| Theory: | Theory with Metaphor: |
| Leaders need to inspire their team | Leaders should cast an inspiring vision of the team’s objective. It’s like: -putting the best fishing bait on the hook; sharing the research and the source of the fishing bait (what shop did you go to? How does this bait result in a big fish dinner reward?); -enthusiastically believing in why fishing here and now is important; -getting the team excited about a big fish dinner with tasty side dishes; and, -casting the fishing line out across the pond at the right place and time so that the team understands the direction to go, in order to realize this tasty reward. |
See the difference? It’s more than just a whole lot more words. It’s a story with a picture that can be memorable. Even someone who doesn’t fish can visualize how setting a vision that you want someone to get excited about is a series of steps that involve communication, excitement, action, and direction. When leaders work with their team trying to create a memorable moment, translating the leadership principle into a metaphor can become an anchor (another metaphor) to use and repeat with the team.
With Sara, the wings of the butterfly were meant to represent her talents, skills, and multi-dimensional attributes. Those around her could clearly see her value. She knows what she is capable of. Yet, to help her fly and reach higher limits, she could benefit from continued guidance, leadership, and investment – I called it wind. And the metaphor landed with her, as cited in her quote above (quote and this blog were written 100% independent of each other). Sara is striving for growth and didn’t want to become stifled or stagnant. Helping her consider placing herself with people who would create a current of air around her, that is positive and in the direction that she seeks to go, will be an important step in the next step of her career development. The butterfly is ready to spread her wings and invested to reach new limits. In our coaching session, I helped remind her that she has choice, strength, and a fantastic array of colors.
Sara closed her message to me with these thoughts.
“In six months, I learned to apply my talents in new areas and engaged in uncomfortable conversations to assure what my future holds. I’ve progressed professionally and personally in a short time.” – Sara
Wouldn’t it be great if all leaders were able to be the wind to their team like this?
Ubuntu. I am because we are.